“Focusing on what truly matters and then realizing that a lot of times you can end up making it a really easy environment for yourself to be in. So you got to take care of yourself.” – Mike Simmons & Jacquelyn Nicholson in today’s Tip 1774
Have you ever experienced impostor syndrome?
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Transcript
Scott Ingram: You’re listening to the Daily Sales Tips podcast and I’m your host, Scott Ingram. Today’s tip features both Jacquelyn Nicholson and Mike Simmons in another of their joint tips. Here they are:
Jacquelyn Nicholson: Mike, there’s a little phrase that’s out there a lot these days, imposter syndrome. And you want to know something really funny?
Mike Simmons: Yes.
Jacquelyn Nicholson: I wasn’t really sure what it was. I was like, What the hell is imposter syndrome?
Mike Simmons: How did you find it? How did you figure it out? Yeah, How did you figure it out?
Jacquelyn Nicholson: I finally made an accurate guess, I believe. And it’s when it’s this feeling, I believe, and you’ll have to validate, because I never really looked it up. I was like, Oh, that must be what it is. It’s when you start to question your own abilities and whether or not the success that you’ve had was based on anything that you did or if it was just dumb, sheer luck. That’s my understanding.
Mike Simmons: Have you ever struggled with it? No. Have you never struggled with it?
Jacquelyn Nicholson: No.
Mike Simmons: I have.
Jacquelyn Nicholson: Tell me why.
Mike Simmons: It sucks.
Jacquelyn Nicholson: I can’t picture that for you.
Mike Simmons: Why can’t you picture it?
Jacquelyn Nicholson: Because for me, we’ve been friends for quite a few years now and had the chance to work together in professional communities and to be friends. And for me, anyway, the way I observe you and experience you is a person of really great confidence, but that’s also humble. You don’t think you’re better than other people, but you know what it is you want, and you seem to be marching towards it every day with everything that you do and have earned your success.
Mike Simmons: Thank you. Those are really hard words for me to come up with when I look at myself in the mirror.
Jacquelyn Nicholson: Well, then maybe you struggle with imposter syndrome.
Mike Simmons: I do, and I have. And typically, the triggers are a couple of them. I’m not in a good, healthy state, meaning I’m not eating well, I’m not sleeping well, I’m not working out well, I’m under a lot of pressure. And then I start to get feedback or things go wrong or things change or there’s some triggering event. And typically what will end up happening there is you start to get this whole self-doubt. And the self-doubts is, do I belong? Have I earned the right to be here? The reality is, if I go through and look at it, you look at bank statements, you look at commission checks that have been received in the past, you look at impact and feedback that you get from others in the market. Like, dude, you do deserve it. You’ve earned it. You’ve done the work. You’re doing fine, yeah. You ground away to get there. But I still have those demons in the back of my head where it’s like, Have I earned it? Do I belong? Do I really know this stuff? Who am I fooling? And that’s where the imposter syndrome piece comes up. And I think it’s healthy from this standpoint. The level of paranoia, the concern about constantly wanting to get better and drive and move forward. It’s healthy when it’s healthy. It is not healthy when it’s not. And I know that sounds simple, but when it’s not healthy is when you get into periods of self-doubt, and you start to question, and you create all this anxiety. And then those things start scaffolding on top of each other, and they build, and it starts compounding. So one of the biggest challenges I have with imposter syndrome is it compounds. And if you allow yourself to get caught up in that wash or the riptide of imposter syndrome, that agitation cycle, it can compound. I think it’s an awesome thing to talk about. When you hear me talk about it, what questions come up?
Jacquelyn Nicholson: Well, I mean, For me, the question is, what are some of the tactics that you can use to overcome it? So to me, I think people tend to get triggered by some of the things around imposter syndrome, or it becomes a bigger thing when you are tired or stressed out or struggling or facing adversity. So you’ve got to do the work to set yourself up for that success, because otherwise, I feel like the mindset that is the opposite of imposter syndrome is really hard to maintain. Because really, in reality, the reality is you’re not an imposter. You have earned the success that you have, and you will have future success. But when you get stressed out, aren’t eating properly, you’re not exercising all the things, then the doubts creep in. The things happen where it’s very difficult to maintain that mindset that you should have, that you have every right to have. So I think if I were to tell you, what I would recommend is I think you just need to start doing the things that you know that you need to do that take care of you. And then I also do say to people, it’s like, look, our professional stuff, the commission checks, all of those things aren’t the really important things. The really important things are the relationships around you for those of the closest to you. And you have a happy marriage and you have great kids. So the truth is, those are what really matter, right? Is that a family that loves you? And I have that in spades. And so whatever professional struggles that I might have or have had in the past, they pale in comparison to the rest of it. So I think focusing on what truly matters and then realizing that a lot of times you can end up making it a really easy environment for yourself to be in, having imposter syndrome when you’re not taking care of yourselves. So you got to take care of yourself.
Mike Simmons: And those are really important things. We talked about leadership and looking for leadership, start with the mirror and taking time to reflect. Well, sometimes it’s really hard to do that reflection, especially when you’re looking at the reflection and things are a little bit skewed, and you have a little bit of that self-doubt or those things, where you get some of the triggering pieces. So my process for overcoming and helping keep it at bay are the things that Jacquelyn just talked about, which is make sure I’m recovering, sleep well, make sure I’m eating well, make sure I’m moving well. The other thing that I do is, I keep track. I ask myself this question, if I get into one of those doubt periods, which is what’s changed in the last 24 hours? Because typically it just comes up and grabs you. It’s not like it bills over a period of time, and then all of a sudden you’re like, I’m an imposter. No, it just literally just grabs you and pulls you under. So I’ll look back and I’ll say, Hey, what’s changed? And when you realize it from a numbers perspective, things haven’t changed. I still have the same clients. I still live in the same house. I still got on the same golf course. I still have the same conversations with Jen and the kids. Nothing really changed in that period other than my perception of those things have changed. So okay, so now let’s give me some time and space to recover and start moving forward. Awesome topic.
Jacquelyn Nicholson: Yeah, I love it.
Scott Ingram: For links to connect with both Jacquelyn and Mike, just click over to DailySales.Tips/1774. Once you’ve done that, be sure to come back tomorrow for another great sales tip. Thanks for listening!