“Look at the future and say, At the end of that conversation, I’m going to feel amazing no matter what the outcome. Then you will get into the possibility instead of the right or wrong.” – Meshell Baker in today’s Tip 1597
Do you feel WRONG?
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Scott Ingram: You’re listening to the Daily Sales Tips podcast and I’m your host, Scott Ingram. Today’s tip comes from Meshell Baker, our favorite sales confidence igniter and authentic selling crusader. Here she is:
Meshell Baker: Today we’re going to talk about what’s wrong with feeling wrong. And I want to start with the definition of WRONG. It is defined as:
1. Not correct/true, or incorrect.
2. Unjust, dishonest, or immoral.
3. In an unsuitable, undesirable manner or direction.
And what being wrong or feeling wrong does is it generates you from limited possibility when there’s infinite possibility and probability of your sales or sales leader success.
So I’m going to start with my little acronym, W-R-O-N-G.
W is Worry steals time. When you’re focused on what’s wrong or could possibly go wrong, you cannot create or generate anything that would be incredible in your outcomes.
R – You are Replaying the past. You are looking at what didn’t go right, quote-unquote, and you are replaying it, creating it, and whatever you think about, you bring about. So your mind can only gravitate to what it keeps thinking will go wrong.
O – The Obstacles become hard because now you’ve limited yourself to two outcomes, right or wrong. That’s only two versus the possibility that could go away you never even imagined possible and be more incredible than you ever thought possible. That’s infinite.
And then the N, you will harbor and hold the Negative thoughts when you are stuck in the two options or right or wrong.
And finally, the G is Guilt and shame. When you stay in the cycle of right or wrong, you will create so much guilt and shame that you will then need to be right as much as possible to try to suppress all the feelings of your wrongness.
So I’m going to give you a couple of tips.
One, give yourself permission to make mistakes. The only reason people constantly feel wrong is because they’re looking at something as right or wrong instead of realizing that there is no success without failure, mistakes, setbacks, naysayers, critics. You are going to get it wrong and it’s just performance. When you feel wrong, it’s the morality instead of the performance. Top performers just look at what didn’t go the way they wanted it to go, where they didn’t get the outcome, and they adapt and they adjust, they look for help. There is no top performer in this world who does not have great coaches and wise counsel. If you are struggling with getting it wrong, it means that you are trying to create a new solution with the same brain that created the problem. Go get help, go get insight from someone else who has succeeded at where you are struggling. So give yourself permission, begin to embrace and welcome the mistakes as your progress, not a problem.
Two, grant access to listen to others’ opinions. Instead of listening from the lens of judgment, where I already know that, I already tried that, I already did that, who do they think they are? You’ve closed your mind. When you sit in that space of judging someone who is giving you feedback, you will not be able to internalize and integrate that feedback into how you generate a new result. So instead, listen from curiosity. Wait, I have never been this person I am right now in this moment. Even as you’re listening to me, you have never heard anyone say what I said the way I said it ever before in life. This is a new moment in time, so get curious about how you can integrate and use this information so that you can impact it to increase your outcomes and your income. So grant access to listen from a new lens of curiosity.
Three, gracious of yourself with the moment. Be compassionate. I tell people, I cloak myself, I flank myself with grace and kindness and patience and all the good things. The thing that you’ve never done before is today. So you will always make mistakes because whenever a human being does something they’ve never done before, they will never get it 100% right the first go around. Understanding and giving yourself grace that you are getting a little bit better every way, every day, that’s all you can do, and then generate a new possibility before you step into communication. If you know that you always needed to be right or always felt wrong in any conversation, any situation, any communication, generate a new possibility of the outcome before. Look at the future and say, At the end of that conversation, I’m going to feel amazing no matter what the outcome. Then you will get into the possibility instead of the right or wrong. Have a great day selling.